My attendance here is long over-due. And there are many things I'd like to say. Many promises I'd like to make. And most of all there are tons of things I'd love to change. To change in and for myself but tonight the thing that weighs most heavy in my thoughts are all the things I'm wishing I could change for my closest friends. For them to endure less of the struggles that they are facing. I wish I knew how to be a better friend to them, to hold them like I pray for. It's nearly impossible though, because I do not have the power to heal the hurt and also because there is this nasty little thing called distance between us. But ladies know that I think of you often and I pray for you often. Meg, just keep breathing you are an amazing woman, don't let this hurt seal you up again. I adore. And I mean I ADORE your goal lists! Keep dreaming big babe, it's going to pay off. Brana, you made the right choice, you were courageous and trusting. Let yourself be open to all of the blessings you've been handed. Some people never get the chance to experience everything you've been blessed enough to experience. Ash, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be there for you. I'm sorry I can't be what you need for me to be for you. I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass. I am happy for you. I'm happy but I'm scared. And you're the only one who knows how to knock me out of this funk, I myself don't even know the trick. Maybe if things were different. Maybe if Michelle and I still spoke. Maybe if you had included me. I don't know but it still feels weird. I love you. All three of you. I love you more than you know and each of you have been the best friends I've ever known because you took the time to understand the mess that I am. And you did it well. Very well. Blessed am I for knowing you.
I hope everything heals......As quickly as possible.