I have done a lot of ruining in my day. Not just today but all of my days. I've often let myself get carried away in a thought or feeling rather than a rational idea. This unfiltering of my messy thoughts frequently result in fair consequenses. And I understand this. I know that even a fool who has kept silent will be thought wise. For some uncomprehensible reason though... I cannot for the life of me keep my big mouth shut. I'm working on it... trying to be more aware of myself and the light or lack of light that I will be seen in by others and its proving to be slightly more difficult than I thought. I wasn't always this way though. As a young lady I was very reserved. Sweet and polite. Couldn't curse a fly. But there was a point along the way that a monster was made and these days thats all anyone ever gets to see. Of course I have good intentions, I mean no harm to others I just can't manage to turn my filter on. It causes problems for me everywhere I go, work, home, with friends and the boyf. The conclusion of come to is that I need to be more grace-filled. To have more love in my heart and in my behaviors. So that is just what I intend to do.

On a side note. It feels good to be back here. Talking about the things floating in my head. Trev was getting tired of hearing about my quests and I've alienated most everyone else with the above mentioned unfiltered messiness. So maybe this will help. Talking to another version of myself. To you... whoever is listening. I'm very excited. Not for anything specific but just simply excited.