Everything that has happened has changed me. I am clay. Each blow I take changes me. It morphs my very foundation. Craters consume me. But you know, there's beauty in that. I had this dream last night, it was just happy and filled with possibilities instead of being weighed down by history and old battle wounds. As much as I want to be level headed and realistic, I always fall back into hope no matter how tragic the outcome looks. But you know, that's who I am. I feel like I'm finished with trying to change myself. I don't want to be hard. I don't want to be someone else. I just want to be me. For the longest time I've convinced myself that wasn't enough. And for the longest time I have been completely unfulfilled. So I'm letting go of those insecurities. I am high maintenance, nosy, sensitive, opinionated, emotional, and irrational to say the least. But you know, I'm ok with that. I'm going to rock my flaws instead of trying to suppress them. Because this person I've been for the last year is still a stranger to me. And I don't want to get to know her. She has been defining herself based upon the men that inhibit her emotional growth. Wrong. Wrong.Wrong. But you know, at least I can see it.