I know what I want. I mean I don't but I know this feeling that I'm looking for. Not in a man or any kind of relationship but with myself. The feeling I want out of life. I took a picture of my dream and I set it as the background on my phone as a sort of motive to get there. Even though I have no IDEA how it's going to happen, I still get extremely excited everytime I open my phone. It's like it doesn't matter how far away it is, I know what I want. I know I want to create. I know I want to make a difference and I know that I don't want it to be about money but more about love. I'm wearing less make-up these days and I like it. I haven't gotten fluttery feelings for a guy in months and I'm not too worried about it. I love my body and my hobbies. I love my messy ways. I love that my nail polish is always chipped and that my dog spoons with me when it gets cold. I love that I am not perfect and that I don't need to please anyone else. I love that I don't need to be with someone to be happy. And that I'm actually more happy on my own. I love the way my mind works and that I am strong and independent. I love that I am my own hero. I love that I read silly self-help books about how to make my life better and more fullfilling and that I take notes as I do it. I love that I have dreams and lots of them. I love that I am the type of girl who cries during sappy movies and that I break out my box set of The O.C. every year around the holidays. I love that I am so filled with love. I love that I have survived, I know I'm broken and counter-intuitive but I am wearing my flaws like a sexy outfit these days and it's fine by me. Take it or leave it, but you know "I'm not going to change for anyone." This is the first time I can say that and actually believe it.